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https://sites.google.com/s/0B9KPoiJoit0jX2JyYndWZjhHWWc/p/0B9KPoiJoit0jNHR1ZnN5bW42TEE/editThe Man, The Moon.
Once Upon a Time, there was a humble blacksmith living in a small village at the base of a great mountain. Every day the blacksmith took a break from his tedious labor by the fires to get a drink from a stream that flowed from the mountain near his shop. On this break the blacksmith would admire the cool and rigid stones of the mountain."How strong and cold the mountain is," the blacksmith would sigh; "If only I were as strong as these stones my labor would never tire me, and if I were as cool, I would not need to rest so often."One hot summer day a young girl was walking by as the blacksmith took his rest, and she overheard his sigh. After hearing of his admiration of the mountain she approached the blacksmith and said "It saddens me to see you tired and weary, I only wish that you could be the mountain: strong and cool." In that instance the blacksmith was transformed into the stone of the mountainside, and the girl was gone.
Years went by and the blacksmith remained stone, unable to speak or move. One fall evening the girl returned, now a young woman. She walked to the stone by the stream and reached a hand out to feel the cold rock. "I see that you are still cool and strong, blacksmith, how does this mountain suit you?" The mountainside rumbled as the blacksmith found words, "I am strong and I am cold, but I miss my labor. Day by day I admire the stone-cutter and his purpose, as he chisels and carries large parts of me to home-builders and artist."
"I understand that you long for your labor," the woman replied, "I will turn you into the stone cutter so that you can work once again and find purpose." Once again the blacksmith was transformed, and once again the woman was gone.
A few more years passed and the blacksmith continued to labor as a stone-cutter, until one winter day the woman returned again. "Hello, old friend." said the woman, "I see that you have found purpose in your labor, how does stone-cutting suit you?" The blacksmith thought for a second before he replied, " I have found purpose, but this labor is hard and I have aged into an old man. Every day I climb high on the mountain to cut stone and I look to the sun for warmth." The woman replied, "The sun is warm and good, so the sun you will be." and was once again gone.
More years went by and the blacksmith thought he would never see the woman again, until one spring day she returned, now an old woman. "I see that you are still filled with the warmth of the sun, blacksmith, but how does being the sun suit you" the woman said tiredly. The blacksmith almost did not want to answer, since the woman had already done so much for him but he knew he had to be honest. "I do enjoy being the sun and encompassing it's warmth, but warmth alone cannot sustain me." The woman thought for a moment before replying, "I have grown old, and in my age I have grown wise. For years we have tried to find the perfect version of you and it has never been so clear. Now you will be the moon, you will be cool and strong, yet warm on the side the sun touches you, you will have purpose in pulling the waters of earth without the labor being too hard." For the final time the blacksmith was transformed, to where he is today, the moon.
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| (The Man, The Moon. Credit to rkarkowski at pixabay) |
Authors notes:
This story was based off an origin story from southeast Asia about a fickle man who could not decide what he wanted to be, and after switching many times a wise man chose for the man to stay the moon. It seemed to me that the story could be improved by making the man grateful for being able to change, and wanting to change out of respect and admiration for something else. Essentially, this story is about trying to find the best version of yourself and adding positive characteristics as you travel through life.
Hi! I really liked your retelling of "The Man in the Moon." The way you changed the man into a kind, humble person instead of the grumpy complainer in the original version. I also really liked your author's note and the way you added in a moral: find the best version of yourself and add positive characteristics to yourself as you travel through life! It was very insightful! I'm also happy that in your version, there was a happy ending where the man was happy as the moon.
ReplyDeleteWow! Color me impressed. I really love what you did with this story. When I read the original story, I was annoyed with the finicky blacksmith. He was never happy, not even in the end. Here he is humble. I also really like the gender flip on the wise woman. She is patient and wants the best for the man. In the original, the “wise man” was not all that wise. He only did as the blacksmith asked and had no better suggestions for him. Your wise woman comes up with the perfect solution and it’s a very satisfying ending. The only piece of constructive criticism I could possibly give you is that I think you meant “suit” instead of “suite”.
ReplyDeleteI always really enjoy gender swaps, and you did this really well! I also think that changing the gender of the "wise" character was good because it makes sense to me, then, that she was legitimately wise and not simply a tool for the blacksmith to use. The fact that it's the woman who ends up creating the perfect solution provides a really good ending for the reader. I also liked that you made the man much more peaceful in this version than the original, simply because he isn't as annoying. In your version, I liked his character and the characterization. In the original, I didn't. Good job! Can't wait to read more from you!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the retelling of this story! The gender flip suited the story even better than the original in my opinion and I like how you made the blacksmith into a humble, grateful man. The author's note was spot on as well, by the way nice page!
ReplyDeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteSuch a creative story! I love the deeper theme of being the best version of yourself. I also think there is another theme in this story, notably, the importance of being satisfied despite our circumstances. The blacksmith was never content with his life because the grass was always greener on the other side, as they say. Though he enjoyed his job, he wanted rest. After he found rest, he wanted purpose. When he finally had purpose, he became tired. And so on. An important takeaway is to be thankful for whatever we have!